


You're all I need

by smugden_dingle



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 14:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22137934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smugden_dingle/pseuds/smugden_dingle
Summary: He just wants to wish Aaron a happy birthday and tell him that he loves him. Just one phone call. It’s been two months, surely he can let himself have one phone call.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 29
Kudos: 120





	You're all I need

Two months. He’s been stuck in here for two months, two months without seeing Aaron, without seeing anyone. 

He couldn’t resist sending that letter to Vic. He’d promised himself he would completely cut off contact with them but he couldn’t bare the thought of them thinking he didn’t care. So, he’d written that letter, all the while thinking of Aaron and hoping that he would read it and know it was really for him. Yes, maybe it was silly sending a letter to Vic when all he really wanted was to send it to Aaron, but he also knew he needed to let Aaron go. He can’t cause Aaron the pain of waiting for him to get out. Maybe it’s selfish of him but the only way he can cope in here is if he knows Aaron can have a happy life out there. 

Two months without him and it’s just getting harder and harder to not talk to him. They went from spending all their time together, at work, at home, at the pub, all of it together, and now nothing. It breaks his heart that he can’t wake up to Aaron’s beautiful face every day, that he can’t speak to him whenever he wants, that he can’t come home at the end of the day to cuddle on the sofa. It’s all gone and he broke it. He broke it all because he couldn’t let it go, he just had to go after Lee and now his whole life is gone. Everything he’s always wanted is gone and it’s his fault. Which is why he can’t give in.

But it’s Aaron’s birthday and he just can’t get him out of his head. He wonders what he is doing, whether he got any good presents, whether he is happy and enjoying the day. Although, knowing Aaron, he probably doesn’t want any of the fuss and will rather just watch a film at home with Liv.  
Liv. He misses her too. He hopes everything has been okay, wishes he didn’t have to leave her to deal with everything that had happened. And Seb, god he missed his birthday again. His little boy was 2 now and he still hasn’t had a birthday with him and he won’t for a long time. 

As Robert lays there on his bed, all these thoughts whirling through his head, he lets a tear escape before quickly wiping it away. 

No, he thought, this was your choice. You have to let it go. 

But he couldn’t. He’d finally found his family and now he doesn’t even know what any of them are up to, doesn’t know how any of them are. He just wishes he could tell them that he loves them. 

Suddenly Robert gets up, leaving his cell and heading towards the phones. 

No, he thinks, stopping himself. No, you can’t be selfish, you can’t. 

But god he just wants to wish Aaron a happy birthday and tell him that he loves him. Just one phone call. It’s been two months, surely he can let himself have one phone call.

God, he wishes this was easier. He hasn’t spoken to anyone for 2 months, keeping his head down in prison avoiding everyone and everything. He just wants his Aaron. His mind made up, he strolls up to the phones. He dials the number he knows so well, and hears the phone start to ring. His heart beats so fast, and his breathing quickening. And then– 

“Robert?” A shaky voice on the other end of the phone comes through. He can’t breathe for a second. He just can’t believe he gets to hear his voice again.

“Robert? Please.” Aaron speaking again, desperation clear in his voice.

“Aaron...” Robert finally breathes out, a sense of relief at finally hearing that voice again. 

“I…what? I mean… Robert?” Aaron questions, at a loss for words.

“I just wanted… I wanted to say, you know… happy birthday.”

A scoff comes from the other end of the phone. “Happy? You think this birthday has been happy? God Robert, what are you playing at?” is what Aaron has to say to that.

Robert feels that immediate, familiar guilt run through him. He shouldn’t have called.

“I…I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called. Let me ju–”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me Robert!” Aaron interrupts, his voice hard. Robert can feel his anger pulsing through the phone. 

A silence hangs between them. He can hear Aaron breathing on the other end, and that alone, after so long without, is enough to bring some calm to Robert. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Aaron oh god I’m so sorry.” The build up of Robert’s emotions just pouring out of him, and he can’t seem to say anything else. 

“You should be. How could you do this to me? To us? Did we really not mean that much to you? Is that it?” Aaron says angrily.

A shocked gasp pulled out of Robert. “Of course you did, you do. You mean everything to me Aaron.”

“Then why would you do this?” 

“I… I don’t know.”

“Oh come off it Robert, of course you do.” Aaron expresses in disbelief.

“IM SELFISH OKAY!” He couldn’t help but shout. “I’m selfish, but you know that about me, don’t you?” 

He could hear Aaron’s murmur of agreement in response.

“I’m selfish because I can’t cope in here knowing you’re out there worrying about me. I can’t cope with you having to be stuck with me. Waiting around for me for years Aaron, years! And yeah, maybe it’s selfish that I can only just about cope if I know you’re out there living a happy life.”

He hears Aaron release a sigh, the one he knows is usually followed by Aaron covering his face. The sigh he also knows as the one Aaron reserves for someone being stupid. 

“Did you really think I could just move on, Robert? That you cutting me off, sending me bloody divorce papers without any warning was going to make me happy?” He hears his voice get louder with anger as he continues “Think again mate, because that’s just plain stupid.”

“I didn’t think.”

“Yeah, you never do. You think you know what’s best for me, but you don’t get that it’s you. You are what’s best for me. From the moment we met, you got me. Sure we had a bumpy road to get to where we were, but you get me. You always did.”

Robert releases a shaky breath, unsure what to say to that.

“And you know what Robert, you always call everyone else an idiot but god, you are the idiot.”

A choked laugh comes out of Robert “Oh cheers.”

“Well you are. Just because you cut me off, doesn’t mean I don’t think about you every second of every day, doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you, hoping that you’re okay in there. Only now I don’t have any way of actually finding out, do I? Not when you won’t talk to me. And I wouldn’t have been stuck with you, I choose you, I’ve always chosen you. You’re it for me Robert. How do you still not see that?!” The exasperation clear in Aaron’s voice.

“Because I don’t deserve you, I never have. You deserve someone good, someone that isn’t a no good criminal stuck in prison for the next 14 years.”

“You don’t get to decide what I deserve. I do. And I want you. I need you. I love you.”

The tears are freely falling from Robert now. He didn’t think he could still have this. Didn’t think he could still be loved, still be wanted.

“And I love you. I always have and I always will. I love you so much Aaron, please never forget that.”

“I won’t Robert, because you are going to tell me every day.”

“No… no I don’t think I can.” He says, fear catching up with him again.

“Yes, you can” Aaron insists. “You’re not cutting me off again Robert. I want you in my life, because you are my life.”

“I’m scared Aaron.” Robert’s quivering breath all that can be heard for a moment. “What if I’m not enough? What if you change your mind? And you realise that you’ve just wasted your life, wasted your life on me.”

“Did you not just hear me? You are my life Robert. You are enough. Don’t you feel the same about me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well then”

“But I…”

“No!” Aaron interrupted. “Please just stop. Robert, I love you, okay? I love you. And that’s never going to go away. I’m going to support you through this. I’m going to be there every step of the way. Because I am not losing you again. Okay?”

“Okay.” Robert full of emotion, his voice quivering. 

He hears nothing for a few seconds, and then hears Aaron let out a sob of relief.

“These last two months have been awful, Rob. I’ve hated every minute. I miss you so much.”

“I’m so sorry, I miss you too.”

“Stop apologising okay? Just as long as you call every day we’ll be okay. We can get through this. But you have to promise not to avoid me again, I can’t handle it.”

“I promise, okay, I promise. I love you and I don’t want to let you go.”

“Good, because it’s not happening. I’m going to come down to visit as soon as possible. I need to see you again, it’s been too long. How is everything? Are you getting on okay?”

“Keeping my head down, getting along as best I can.”

“Good… good.”

“And your birthday… you doing anything special?”

A silence comes through before Aaron speaks. “Well I didn’t want to see anyone, so I’ve just locked myself in the house, sent everyone away.”

Another wave of guilt passes through Robert. “Oh Aaron... I’m so sorry.”

“Hey stop it, you’ve just given me the best present ever… you. This is all I wanted, hearing your voice again. It’s really been the best birthday present.”

“I just wish I was there to give you a cuddle.”

“Me too.”

“Speaking of presents, did you find mine yet?”

“What?”

“Your present... from me… I left it under the bed.”

“You got me a present?” Aaron questions.

“Well I knew I wasn’t going to be there and I wanted to get you something.”

He hears the shuffling noises of Aaron running upstairs.

“It’s nothing special but I just…well I thought it would be nice.”

He hears Aaron opening it, and then a small gasp. Robert was getting more nervous the longer nothing was said.

“It’s silly, I shouldn’t have...”

“No Robert… it’s everything.” He could hear the emotion on Aaron’s voice. The quiet snuffling as Aaron cried. “I love it, I can’t believe you did this.”

“It’s only a photo, but I just wanted you to have a one of our little family to put on the mantelpiece. It’s my favourite one of us.”

And it was such a great photo, from their day out with the both of them and Liv and Seb. They got someone to take a picture of them stood on the beach but it ended up being the one they weren’t ready for that they loved the most. Seb’s first beach visit, everyone’s hair blowing in different directions, Robert and Aaron staring lovingly at each other and Liv pulling faces at Seb while he laughed. It was the perfect picture of happiness to show their family off. 

“Aaron I really am sorry, I love you, I love our family and that picture is my favourite because it shows what we had. And I don’t want to lose that.”  
Aaron gulps. “You won’t okay? I love you”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Aaron.”

“Well you don’t have to know, because I’m not going anywhere.”

Robert lets out a breathy laugh. “I uhhh… I better go. I’ve been taking up this phone too long.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t want to either, but I’ll tell you what... I’ll ring you again later. I can tell them it’s urgent, I’ll persuade them somehow.”

“You can do that?”

“Course” Robert assures him lightly, already trying to work out a way. “I want to talk again, soon. I’ve really missed you. And I’ll send that visit request over okay?”

“You better!”

“Aaron?”

“Robert?”

“You know…?”

“I know” Aaron confirms.

Smiling now, Robert says “I love you. So so much.”

“I love you too. So so much.”

“Oh, and Aaron?”

“Yeah?”

“Please go see your family, they will want to see you. It’s your birthday, you shouldn’t be alone. I don’t like the thought of you being on your own.” 

“I’m not alone though, I’ve got you now” Aaron states.

“You know what I mean Aaron. Please, for me?”

“I don’t know…”

“Please Aaron just one drink. Think of it as a birthday drink from me.” 

“Okay, just the one though.”

“I know you don’t like the fuss, but your family loves you and they just want to celebrate you, so go have that drink okay?” Robert pleads.

“Yeah, okay”

“You promise?”

“I promise” Aaron says in response.

“Alright I really better go now. Please try and enjoy yourself. And I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’ll try my best”

“Goodbye Aaron.”

“Bye Robert.”

And for the first time in two months, they both let out a sigh of relief. Even with everything else going on around them, just hearing each other’s voices again it brought them a peace they hadn’t felt since they last saw each other. Together they can get through this. They can get through anything as long as they have each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. It was fun to pour my robron feels into a fic so I hope you like it.  
> Find me over on tumblr @howellobrien


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